


Pick Me Up

by CatrinaSL



Series: A Simple Device [128]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 21st Century Pain In the Ass Steve Rogers, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Clubbing, Dancing, F/M, Pick-Up Lines, SHIP DARCY LEWIS WITH ALL THE THINGS, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-05-28 11:38:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15048098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatrinaSL/pseuds/CatrinaSL
Summary: While trying to convince Jane to come out dancing with her, Darcy insists that "pick up lines don’t work, not even if they’re hilarrible.”Fate proves her wrong.





	Pick Me Up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mass_hipgnosis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mass_hipgnosis/gifts).



> mass_hipgnosis prompted me this!
> 
> Soulmate AU Reminder: Everyone has a Soulmark, a tattoo of the first words their Soulmate will say to them. Showing someone else your Soulmark is like baring your soul to them, so most people only show their Soulmate or very trusted friends.

“I just don’t understand why you’d even want to waste your time,” Jane said, with her eyes on the screen in front of her.

“Jane,” Darcy stared at her. “Dancing is  _ fun _ .”

“So do it in the privacy of your own home, in the comfort of your own underwear,” the astrophysicist told her with a shrug.

“I do! But getting all dressed up is fun, too. Plus the confidence boost I get from knowing I look  _ good _ .”

“I’m sorry;” Jane said, turning to Darcy with a skeptical look. “Weren’t you just complaining about the unwanted attention you got last night?”

Darcy rolled her eyes. “Please tell me you’re just playing the patriarchy’s advocate here,” she begged. “Don’t make me get all feminist agenda on your face.”

Jane smiled. “You could join the Avengers with that,” she said.

“The greatly feared Social Justice Warrior!” Darcy said with a laugh. “I’d wear jeans and a t-shirt and just stand on the sidewalk and yell, ‘treat me like a person!’ It’d be like my normal everyday life, only I’d have some influential teammates.” The two were quiet for a moment. “Wait. Why is this not already a thing?”

“I think it sort of might be, I know I heard Natasha trying to chill Steve out about something the other day. She called him a ‘21st century pain in the ass,’ but she said it like it was a compliment.”

“It is.” Darcy said, regarding her friend with a sideways glance. “Anyway, so this guy. I actually said the words ‘no means no’ to him, but was still all like, following us around with the stupid pick up lines. Wanda asked if she should give him a nightmare, but Nat wouldn’t let her, and then Nat was asking if she could kill him and I was like, ‘oh my god, Natasha, you can’t just  _ kill  _ people.’”

“Was there a point to this?” Jane asked, turning back to her Science.

“You should come with us next time!”

Jane shook her head. “Not interested.”

Darcy pouted. “But if you came then Thor would come and if Thor came then fewer jerks would bother us.”

“Then take him,” Jane suggested. “Or Tony.”

“I haven’t actually met him, but now that you mention it, he would probably be a blast at the club.”

“How have you  _ not  _ met Tony?” Jane asked.

“I dunno; it’s a big building,” Darcy replied.

“Well, then what about the Captain?”

“Ha, yeah, no;” Darcy laughed. “Dude punched a guy the last time I got catcalled.”

“That doesn’t sound like a bad thing.”

“I’m all for Steve Rogers handing out face punches to D-bags and everything, but the point of going dancing is dancing, not to watch a bare knuckle brawl.”

Jane shrugged. “You’ll just have to get used to the pickup lines, then.”

“Noooo, Jaane!” Whining didn’t usually work; Darcy had obviously reached her last resort. “It is a scientific fact that pick up lines  _ don’t work _ , not even if they’re hilarrible.”

“They couldn’t’ve been that bad.”

“Oh yeah? ‘Is that a mirror? Because I can see myself in your pants!’” Jane laughed, but Darcy wasn’t finished. “‘You can stay, but I’m afraid your shirt has to go.’” 

Jane let out a groan. “No more, please!”

“Ooh!” Darcy spotted a certain billionaire entering the lab to Science Bro with Bruce. “I’ll prove it to you,” she told Jane.

He was right in the middle of a sentence with the words “organic” and “intelligence” and “biochemistry,” but Darcy interrupted. He looked like he was enjoying himself, and that was the best time to interrupt someone with a pick up line, if she had learned anything from annoying guys at dance clubs.

“Was that an earthquake, or did you just rock my world?”

Tony turned and surveyed her with surprised eyes.

Darcy presented this response to Jane with an accompanying ‘told you so’ look.

Jane sighed. “Fine, I’ll come out dancing with you,” she yielded.

“Yesss!”

Then Darcy felt a hand close over her wrist and another one on her hip. She turned, looking for her taser, ready for some zapping, but Stark was already talking to Jane.

“And this is—?” he asked.

“Darcy Lewis,” Jane replied. “My assistant.”

“Great. I need to borrow her for a second. Be right back.”

And then the hand that had been on her hip was on the small of her back, guiding her out of the lab to the hallway, where no one could overhear them.

Darcy frowned at him. “Look, I’m sorry about the lame pick up line, but it helped me prove a point. You can chew me out or whatever, but I’m not going to apologize.”

“I should hope not,” he said, grinning at her. “It was perfect. And so are you.”

Darcy’s mouth fell open. Her Soulmate continued to grin while she processed her shock. 

“So,” she said finally. “Are you free this weekend? Because we  _ have _ to go dancing.”

**Author's Note:**

> "I don't know what kind of clubs you've been going to, Jane, but usually you're still allowed to wear your own underwear."
> 
> [Steve Rogers, 21st Century Pain in the Ass](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/140528218323/now-im-just-thinking-about-steve-rogers-21st)
> 
> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/175614983038/pick-me-up)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


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